One Readers Experience With Modern Orgies and Swinging In This Q&A

Disclosure: Made For Mature Audiences Only

One Readers Experience With Modern Polyamory In This Q&A

So there I was at 9AM Googling orgies, polyamory and swingers. Before the discovery of Gamma I had been writing primarily about dating and relationships. It was the direction I took with my blog when I noticed all signs pointed toward my analytics in favor of that column, after a breakup. Since it was only my voice, and not the incredible team I’ve implemented here at Gamma, I spoke from experience, and shared my friends stories. At the time a reader weighed in and broached the question: “are you familiar with dating apps built around orgies, swinging and casual hookups?” He explained there was more than one way of modern sex. As I received it: an honest way to be intimate by joining a dating app for the simple act of open trysts for people who engage in non-monogamous relationships. Watching, MFM, BDSM, femdom, exhibitionism, edging, role playing, moresomes, threesomes, oral and cockholds. My dictionary just expanded.

The natural libertarian in me was openminded about his way of dating, or not dating and just sleeping together. If polygamy and polyandry exists and men and women have more than one spouse, why is it strange that some singles enjoy casual sex with couples, swingers, and full swap and soft swap? It’s evident the 21st century has opened the door to endless possibilities. Which got me to thinking about sex and what is dating anymore?

The also traditionalist in me believes in marriage, a family and until death does apart: The eternal hopeless romantic who’s heart was built on the idea of love. However, as I push through the better part of my thirties, and look back at my past and what each relationship was, I can’t help but think what’s right for me isn’t the same for everyone. There was once a time I didn’t understand unconventional ways of dating. Now that I am considering all options of raising a family alone, and reevaluating what love and marriage is, I don’t think there is anything wrong with the way this reader is satisfying himself. If people are being honest with themselves and partners then there should be no crime in their choices.

That said, although I am not looking for a metamour just yet, and I’m optimistic about life with one lover, this reader enlightened me and opened my eyes to a whole new world. I asked him if he was comfortable publishing our conversation to help clarify any confusion for others, who like me, may have been in the dark once, about his preference being a swinger. Although he’s asked to remain anonymous, I think you will find his way of seeking sex to be quite similar to monogamous dating apps. With all types of fluid permutations I wonder if open relationships are the new norm, and if so, are they sustainable long-term?

Q&A

Q

What are the dating apps you use and how did you become aware of them?

A

Feeld. A friend told me about it.

Q

Can you walk me through a typical match and meet?

A

Well after you match, you chat a bit, exchange pics and talk about what they are into and looking for. After that we plan a place to meet.

Q

Is each encounter just sex or is there any dating involved?

A

Hahah. No dating. Usually just sex from what I’ve encountered.

Q

Are the couples on these apps primarily heterosexual?

A

The ones I meet the guy for sure is straight.

Q

Do you engage in sexual activity with just the woman while the man watches?

A

It’s all about the girl. No guy on guy at all. He either watches or we take turns on her.

Q

How do you loosen up before having sex with a complete stranger?

A

By the time we meet, I am very comfy. We’ve talked about what the do’s and don’ts are, but we usually chill and chat a bit. She might have a drink to loosen up.

Q

What happens afterward? Sleep over? You leave? Is there a next time?

A

Never a sleep over. It’s a “hey, thanks that was fun!” Haha. Some have been more than once.

Q

How often do you hookup with different couples via these apps?

A

Not as often as you would think. At least for me. It’s a lot harder than I thought.

Q

What sort of questions are asked on this dating app to peek your interest and make you want to match with someone? Are people candid about what they want: bondage, fetishes, kink, etc?

A

Well a lot of people are very discreet about this lifestyle.  Most of the time it’s the same as a regular app. You see a hot chick and swipe to hopefully match, then read the profile. Haha. As far as questions asked, it’s the common ones: what is she into, what are her limits, etc. Very common stuff.

Q

In your opinion, are polyamory and open relationships the way of the future dating world?

A

It has been for a while. There are A LOT of couples who are into this and the funny thing is, their friends probably have no idea. The most normal looking people are into this.

So there you have it, orgies, swingers, polyamory, you name it someones done it, is a way of openness and exploration. This reader educated me on a topic I’d never once thought about. I am aware there is no right or wrong way to find love or a hookup, but now I’m inquisitive about the stats of open relationships. With any hookups, it boils down to being honest with yourself and doing what works for you and your partner(s).

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