Attention America: Wake up call! Guys like to date older women. It’s true. They just don’t talk about it or post about it. Enter: Revenge of The Silver Fox Women.
Why? Because we live in a patriarchal society controlled by old, rich, mostly white men who make women a commodity and trade out for new and younger models every few years––just like their fancy overpriced cars.
There’s a stigma around women dating younger men and it needs to end. But like everything in the patriarchy people are brainwashed by their peers and celebrities. They go with the status quo rather than breaking the mold. Fear of not being seen as “normal” is a disease in our society.
Maybe all this Silver Fox idolizing started at a young age for me. I lost my virginity to a 21 year old girl when I was 15. I’m aware of the law regarding that, but I’ve always been a few years ahead of my age in certain ways.
BTW, don’t you love the term Silver Foxes? It has an androgynous sensibility. I know men are typically referred to as Silver Foxes, but I’ve heard women called it, too. I love the fun sexual terminology as long as it is not degrading.
I primarily date older women. At least half of the time. Sometimes as much as 15+ years, but typically within 4-5 years my senior. My two longest and most meaningful relationships were both with women that had a few years on me. My amazing ex-wife and coparent, and my ex-girlfriend who is like family to me. There’s also a woman out there, who is likely reading this, that I’ve dated on-and-off for years in her mid 50’s. She is sexier than many “models” I’ve met in my career––in my opinion.
What makes her sexier? Her confidence and maturity. The heart-centered place she’s found herself after living many experiences. She is simple, balanced, and there are no crazy expectations. No games. Most importantly, in my experience older women are more into sensual sex and love making. Some even tantra-esque style sex. I love a good sweaty smash session just as much as the next guy, but I’m not much into choking or BDSM. I don’t think it’s weird, it’s just not my thing. Maybe once in awhile in the right situation, but have you ever done yoga for two hours with your partner side-by-side then slipped into a hot bath with her? Massaged oil on each other head-to-toe and let your body’s unite in wild ecstasy for another two hours? I have. It’s epic. I highly recommend it.
I’m into full body orgasms and deep intense passion. It’s hard to find though. Many people are programmed by porn to think they just need to bang. Which again isn’t their fault. It takes experience and experimenting to take love-making to new places. Good places.
Many of us are closed off about sex. We don’t talk about it. Maybe we joke about it or talk details with a couple close friends, but we don’t really read about it. We don’t journal about it. We don’t study it. We also don’t share in a neutral engaging way. We tend to play roles we have seen or been told to play. Like anything in life, the more you talk about sex and learn about it the better it can be. The more enlightening it can be.
Women that are older are experienced and seasoned. They have experimented enough to give them that thing in bed that younger women don’t have…yet. Some younger women do have it, but not all. It’s ok if you don’t have it yet. It’s coming (pun intended) it just takes opening up a bit and learning from your partners. Trying new things and telling men what you want.
Can we blame younger women for not having that thing that older women have? No we can’t. Society is a tough place for women. It always has been. Women/girls were sold as dowry up until a generation ago. They still are in third world nations. Let’s change that, can we?
This is a silly little chart I made up in order of youngest to eldest, or seasoned women, as I like to call them:
Younger woman: 18-25
Silver Fox: 65-75
GILF: 75-85 (hey nobody can judge)
Goddess: 85-105 (takes a licking and keeps on ticking)
Older women are perfectly aged like a fine wine, or more distinct in flavor with age. Take for example, Betty White. She is still crushing life.
Hey Betty, if you read this: I’m down. I mean at least a glass of wine to see if we vibe.
For real though. Why are women not seen as sexually attractive past a certain age? Have you seen Susan Sarandon lately? HOLY HOTNESS! I’ve had a crush on her since I was EIGHT YEARS OLD. And can you believe that recently both men and women have had the audacity to shame her for showing her cleavage because she’s in her 70’s. It was a big story. There were literally women shaming her. So backwards! They should be applauding her!
I personally think she’s always been a bombshell, and I love that kind of woman. Susan Sarandon not only looks like a lioness she acts like one. She’s a boss. She speaks her truth. She cusses. She snaps back at men that put her down or condescend her. She stands her ground. I don’t know what is more attractive to me. However, many men like the opposite. Patriarchal guys want submissive, quiet, conformed women. Not me. Susan at 73 looks amazing. She’s in her prime to me. She’s got another decade to dominate Hollywood.
I’ve never gone more than 15 years my senior, but she’s my original redhead crush. I turned 40 last month so that makes Susan and I 33 years difference in age. Would I take her for a roll in the hay still? Damn straight. And that southern accent? Good Lord…
My great aunt (favorite one of four) “Aunt Beatty” was a hoot. She was very lively. When she moved into a retirement community she met Saul, a nice 93 year old Jewish gentleman who happened to be single as well. Before we knew it they were boyfriend and girlfriend at 93. I believe she was 87 at the time. They were not spring chickens.
The grandchildren in my family, myself included, would joke about their dating life. But it turns out they were having sex on a daily basis. It was the talk of the retirement home. Not sure if he was doing the blue pill or if he was just a lucky guy, but I have to say my great aunt was always a pretty lady. Even in her older years. God rest her soul and my grandmothers.
You hear the word grandmother and automatically have auto gag reflex thinking of grandma and sex together. I see grey haired women and think still fit, still sexy, zero drama/games… ok, I’m down. I mean eventually. I think 15 years is my limit in either direction, but who knows.
How do we let older women know they are sexy? They deserve to feel beautiful too. After all, they’re the creators of life. They gave us everything so that we can live and not only raise children but raise grandchildren. That’s the problem. Society has shamed us into thinking it’s awkward to make an older woman feel beautiful. Or God forbid sexy. But that’s bullshit! Why is it totally normal for guys in their 50’s and even 60’s to date women in their 20’s and 30’s?
I say we end that stigma and let the Silver Foxes of the world get their revenge. Let’s end the stigma around sex and sexy. Let’s be safe but have fun and respect people for whoever they want to date. I’m not even opposed to being a paid escort. My ex always joked about it. She said she could make thousands of dollars by sending me on paid dates with her 50+ year old lady friends. I wouldn’t go on these dates for sex, but for companionship. Maybe massages. Whatever’s clever. Hah!
Let’s allow women with grey hair to shake it like a lioness on the dance floor. Life is too short to live by the status quo. Life is also too long to let age be the factor when two people are attracted to each other (within the laws).
At the same time we have to respect each person’s journey and character. I’m not suggesting you should hit on old ladies at the bridge club. I’m saying if women act like they want to stay in that vibe then we should accept it. I’ve seen a bunch of grey haired women with bright colored tattoos on Instagram who are very active. Vibrations are everything. When you’re throwing a vibe people should know. Let’s allow more women to throw up whatever vibe they want!
There’s many record holding athletic women in their 60’s. Diana Nyah for instance swam from Cuba to Florida in her 60’s and holds a bunch of records from that age of her career. There are many marathon runners and all kinds of women crushing sports into their 70’s.
Let’s support them. And if they want to date someone younger, who is better at keeping up at their pace, let’s make it normal.
I support women and the feminist movement. If anything in this op-ed has offended you I apologize. I like to keep things funny with an edge. I backup my claims to support women by working daily to activate people to vote for progressive women and candidates. I raise my son with respect for women and girls, and call men out when they’re being offensive or sexist. I’ve even founded an NPO to supply women with pepper spray for self defense who can’t afford it, or haven’t been able to buy some.
I just feel that it is important to talk about these things. Whether joking around a bit to lighten the topic, or with dead seriousness as I do in some parts of my books.
You can learn more about my activism and feminist support here.
If you have read this far I’m onto something. This should be a dating topic with more intersectionality. That’s up to the editors/publishers so we shall see.
For now let’s just drop the stigma when an older woman is dating a younger man and send them off with a “good for her,” glad she isn’t stuck at home with some boring husband who doesn’t pay her any attention. Maybe she’s getting revenge. Maybe she’s just having fun. Maybe she likes to go for hours and needs a younger man. All I know is I’ve tasted the rainbow and sailed the seas over these 40 years and I can say without a doubt, women never get “old”…they just get “seasoned.”
Don’t take my word for it fellas. Get out there and go fox and cougar hunting! Or maybe if you’re lucky they’ll get their full revenge and hunt you.
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